From the developers of carmageddon and more Xena games that should have been allowed comes a superhero game so incredibly awful it should become legend as one of the worst video games of all time. superman 64 enter the crudely geometric world of bizarro metropolis. where everything is terrible and take on the role of one of DC Comics greatest champions in a world where all of his godlike powers are reduced to petty gimmicks.
but still made lots of money when it came out despite everyone hating it making it basically the batman v superman of video games and experience design choices so awful. that people only remember the game at all because youtubers like to see it which suits us just fine. superman 64 sucks please comments. descend into a polygonal nightmare universe that looks like garbage even by the incredibly low standards of the n64 where instead of using his powers to vanquish evil doers Superman must complete a bunch of a name and nonsensical test under strict time limits in a video game experience so diabolical.
it could only have been designed by lex luthor himself and what is also actually the plot of the game in short time your fate will be sealed Superman. which is super meta and all but it doesn’t stop the gameplay for being worse than actual torture. experience a control scheme clearly designed by people who hate fun and anyone who has ever had it as Superman erratically pitches around like he’s done some super whippets and seasons through the sky. as you feel the attempt to fly through a bunch of floating rings has spent it in the sea of fart gas in a reskin a pilot wings that’s so messed up.
even the guy who recorded the demo couldn’t do it right after you struggle pass the impossible ring section take on the many other basically unplayable gameplay modes of superman 64 such as combat where you flail your arms around like a third grader and playground fight. and take out a bunch of enemies by flying into them like an idiot. escort where you chaperone police vehicles skateboards and babies to the goal while being shot at by guns and missile launchers and generally just throw stuff around with no regard for safety or property damage.
and puzzle-solving where the greatest challenge of all is to figure out what the puzzle even is none of which you’ll see anyway because you can’t get through the Rings. so squeeze into your red undies and get ready to stay as far away from this game as physically possible because even in a parody trailer friends don’t let friends play superman 64, but would be the perfect game for them. starring super illegal immigrant super liability ginger Vitus the human condom ronda rousey the Energizer Bunny urban thing and dr. evil DC flight simulators 64 at least the designers got one thing right making everything explode.